Still My Beating Heart
by StarKisses
Summary: A mixed up love-triangle story set in the time of the Marauders. Involves a one-night stand that goes bad, fights, forbidden love, best friends, worst enemies, and lots of surprises.
1. Argument Between Lovers

"Shut up, Sirius!" Lily Evans yelled at Sirius Black, smacking him in the head with a book.

The two of them were sitting alone, in the Gryffindor common room, supposedly studding for the upcoming exams. Well, Lily was studding. Sirius pointed out that they didn't have any tests coming up, and was acting like a fool. The two of them were the only people in Gryffindor as everyone else had gone home for the holidays.

"Why?" he asked, his voice laced with teasing sarcasm.

"Because you're being stupid."

"How so?"

"Because you're you," she snapped, getting annoyed.

"Exactly."

"Exactly what?"

"That's exactly why you love me." He smirked playfully.

"I do not love you!" she shouted, standing up and looking horrified.

Standing as well, Sirius asked playfully if she was sure.

"Yes. Very much so," she replied coldly.

"How come?" He walked over and stood near her. She took a step back.

"Because...because you are an immature, big-headed, selfish, egotistic…"

"That's the same stuff you say about James," Sirius said, cutting her off. "And you and him sure are cozy now-a-days when you think no one's looking."

Caught off guard, she just blinked at Sirius as he watched her, waiting for a smart Lily-style response that he full-heartedly expected. He smiled slyly when none came.

"I am not _cozy_ with James. I do not like James. And as you so kindly pointed out, for the same reasons I don't like you. Because you two are so much alike, it's frightening. But you're also not as bad as him."

"So you like me more than James?"

"Err...in a way I guess... But I still can't stand either of you!"

Lily ran her fingers through her hair. This conversation was getting awkward; it made her think. How did she think of Sirius? And James? Where they really getting closer?

"You keep saying that, but is it really how you feel?"

He stepped towards her again. Lily stepped back, but found her back presses against the wall and that she couldn't move backwards any farther.

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes. It is how I really feel."

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

Lily hesitated, not sure what to say. She looked down at the floor, her lips parted in a half, unspoken, yes.

He asked again: "really?"

"I don't know," she whispered.

"Okay. I can work with that."

Sirius lifted her chin with his fingertips, looking into her bright green eyes. He touched her hip with his right hand; she jumped, but didn't brush it away. He slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. He brushed the fingers of his free hand across her cheek and down her neck. He paused for a moment, like he'd been captured on film leaning in for the kiss. A second later, his lips were on his.

Lily shoved him away, pushing him over the arm of a chair, but unfortunately ended up going down with him. She blinked, staring at him. Not sure of if she wanted to move or not, she did nothing.

He closed his eyes and kissed her again. After a moment, she came to her senses and pulled away.

"Get off me," she mumbled, half-heartedly.

"I'm not on you," he told her neck, showing her with tiny kisses and nibbles.

Sirius stood up, still holding her around the waist, and she, afraid of being dropped to the floor, clung with her arms behind his neck. He chuckled, readjusting her legs around his waist, and lowered her back onto the couch.

"Now I'm on top of you," he teased, kissing her again with passion.


	2. Wwhat happened?

_Sirius grabbed her around the waist and stood up. __Lily__, terrified of being dropped, wrapped her legs around him and flung her arms around his neck. He kissed her again and then slide her onto the couch and laid on top of her._

"Now I'm on top of you."

Sirius kissed her over and over and she let him, without giving it a second thought.

Lily shifted in her sleep as the sun started to shine through the curtains in the Gryffindor common room. She has been having the strangest dream, it had involved Sirius and her. He hadn't been acting the way he did when he was with his little group of friends, or a pack of giggling admiring girls. There had been something about him that she actually liked......something about him had been different. She tried clinging to the dream as the golden sun rays shown bright in her eyes, but the dream was slipping, and it was time to wake up.

She decided, after a few moments of considering it, to open her eyes, great the day, and forget all about the dream. After all, what was it but more than a dream? Then all of a sudden she felt a movement underneath her. Startled, she squealed and fell from the couch she had been seemingly sleeping on.

The floor was cold and hard on her skin, which she found strange as her clothes should have kept the cold off her skin.

"Oh. I'm sorry Lil, did I scare you?" Sirius asked sleepily, looking over the edge of the couch.

"S-sirius?!" Lily stuttered. "W-what happened?"

Sirius looked at her, his head tilted slightly to the side, giving him the appearance of an overgrown puppy dog. "You don't remember?"

"N-no. Not really. Everything seems all like a dre......." Lily trailed off. Her dream had been a reality. She hadn't thought the entire thing up, she had done it. "Oh. my. goodness."

"It's ok Lil, really, your going to be fine. But how 'bout you come back up here, you look cold." He stuck out a hand for her and she took it.

Once she was back up on the couch and wrapped very tightly in a big blanket (having discovered that the reason for the floor being so cold was not because there was a fault in her clothing, it was that she wore very little), she contemplated her current situation.

"Hey," Sirius said, wrapping an arm around her covered shoulders and gave her a sort of one-armed hug. "You're ok. Promise me."

"I know that." She talked to the floor, but directed her words towards him. "I'm just trying to figure out how it all happened. And why I let it happen."

"You..., we, got caught in the moment. There's nothing to be worried about and there's nothing to regret."

"There's everything to regret!" She snapped.

"What, do you have a boyfriend?" He said calmly, squeezing her shoulders, a sign for her to calm down.

"No..."

"Then there's nothing to worry about."

"There's everything to worry about!" Lily stood and faced him, her face blush with fury and embarrassment, still clutching the blanket around her. "I just slept with one of the most selfish, foolish, crazy, annoying boys in the school!"

Sirius shrugged. "You say all that like it's a bad thing."

"It is a bad thing!"

"What are you so afraid of Lily?" Sirius stood, he was facing her, but he didn't try to get close to her. Even though she didn't have her wand on her, she could be just as fierce without it if she wanted to be. "Afraid that your friends will disapprove?"

Lily blinked at him and didn't say anything. She gave herself to seconds to come up with an answer to that, but when none came, she turned on her heels and ran up the stairs to the girl's dormitory.

"Lily?" Sirius called, in a lower, softer voice, walking up to the bottom of the stairs leading up to where she had locked herself into.

No answer.

"Lily please?"

"Leave me alone!!"

Sirius sighed and walked back over to the couch. Sitting down, he put his head in his hands and looked at the ground. This is going to be a very long vacation, he thought.

**A/N : sorry that this chapter is so short, I just felt like it was the perfect place to end it. I'll try to make the next one longer. Well thanks for all the people who are reading this, I hope to update soon. ~ Fury ~**


	3. Man Girls Are Confusing

_"What are you so afraid of Lily?" Sirius stood, he was facing her, but he didn't try to get close to her. Even though she didn't have her wand on her, she could be just as fierce without it if she wanted to be. "Afraid that your friends will disapprove?"___

_Lily blinked at him and didn't say anything. She gave herself to seconds to come up with an answer to that, but when none came, she turned on her heels and ran up the stairs to the girl's dormitory.___

_"Lily?" Sirius called, in a lower, softer voice, walking up to the bottom of the stairs leading up to where she had locked herself into.___

_No answer.___

_"Lily please?"___

_"Leave me alone!!"___

_Sirius sighed and walked back over to the couch. Sitting down, he put his head in his hands and looked at the ground. This is going to be a very long vacation, he thought._

Nightfall came and left with Sirius Black sitting on a couch in the Griffindor common room, putting the most that that he had probably put into anything in trying to figure out his current situation.

He had one, the night before slept with one of the most beautiful girls he knows and his best friend's long-term crush, Lily Evans. Second, he had said something to really throw her off-edge while trying to comfort her. And third, she had locked herself into the girls dormitory and refused to come down or talk to him and he had spend the entire night staring at the staircase trying to think of something to say to her. He had so far come up with, well, nothing.

He gave up trying and stood and walked to the base of the stairs. "Lily?" He called up them softly. She was probably asleep, and even if she wasn't, chances were that she wouldn't answer him anyway. "Lily please. I just want to talk to you. At least open the door and listen."

He didn't know what he was going to say, but he would think of something when, if, she opened the door. He waited for maybe five minutes, and when there was no sign of her opening the door, we turned and sat back down on the couch.

He most have dosed off, because the next thing he knew, it was night again. He was awoken by a dull noise somewhere in the common room. He sat up and looked around; by the portrait hole, stood Lily.

"Sorry." She whispered. "Didn't mean to wake you."

She crossed the room in a few quick steps and sat down in the chair across from him. She was wearing a light pink and gold long sleeved shirt under a white jacket along with blue jeans. Her hair was loose and fell into her eyes. She had long gold dangle earrings and a gold heart locket hung around her neck. Her face was pink and there were little drops of water on her skin, hair, and clothes; she must have been outside recently.

"You wanted to talk?" She broke the long silence, still whispering.

"Y-yes. I wanted to tell you I was sorry." Sirius mumbled, looking at the ground. He was going to play this as safe as he could to keep her from getting mad again.

"For what?"

Sirius looked shocked and confused at the same time; what had she just said? For what?

"For the other night…"

"Oh." Lily looked embarrassed and ran her fingers through her hair. She seemed to have forgotten, though they both knew she hadn't. "That wasn't your fault. I let you…it's as much mine as it is yours, so let's just say it's no one's." Sirius blinked at her. "Err…and I'm sorry I yelled."

"Lily…." Sirius started to say something, but didn't know what to say.

She stood and walked in front of him. He looked up at her. "Shh…don't say anything." She placed her finger on his lips. "There's nothing to say." She dropped to her knees and removed her finger.

"Lily…." He started again.

"Shh." And she brushed his lips with hers. "I like you. But I think we should just stay friends."

She stood and walked back up those stairs to the girl's dormitory. Sirius watched her go and sighed.

"Goodnight." She called down to him and then he heard the door shut.

"Goodnight….Lily."

He lay down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. He just stared at it for hours, waiting for sleep to come. He shut his eyes and tried to slip into his dreams, but all he could think of was Lily; _I like you. But I think we should just stay friends.___All he could feel was the touch of her lips on his. He couldn't believe that these past three days had happened; yet they had.

"I'm never going to understand girls." He said to himself.

"You can't live with them and you can't live without them!" A portrait called from somewhere out of the darkness.

"I hear you there." He answered before turning on his side.

He ended up falling asleep once again staring at the stairs Lily had gone up, repeating what the portrait had said over and over again in his head; _you can't live with them and you can't live without them._

So very true, he thought before slipping into the worst sleep he has had in years.

**A/N : I know this chapter is short; but I wasn't sure what else to put in it. I hope it's good, let me know what you think. I'll try to get the next chapter written and posted as soon as I can. Thanks for reading! ~Fury~**


	4. Christmas Day

_She stood and walked back up those stairs to the girl's dormitory. Sirius watched her go and_

sighed.

"Goodnight." She called down to him and then he heard the door shut.

"Goodnight….Lily."

He lay down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. He just stared at it for hours, waiting for sleep to come. He shut his eyes and tried to slip into his dreams, but all he could think of was Lily; I like you. But I think we should just stay friends.___All he could feel was the touch of_

her lips on his. He couldn't believe that these past three days had happened; yet they had.

"I'm never going to understand girls." He said to himself.

"You can't live with them and you can't live without them!" A portrait called from somewhere out of the darkness.

"I hear you there." He answered before turning on his side.

He ended up falling asleep once again staring at the stairs Lily had gone up, repeating what the portrait had said over and over again in his head; you can't live with them and you can't live without them.

So very true, he thought before slipping into the worst sleep he has had in years.

"Sirius! Sirius wake up! It's Christmas!" Lily was jumping up and down screaming at the top of her lungs, shaking poor Sirius awake. She had completely forgotten that she needed to control herself and her actions and be a woman of respect and authority, but she didn't care, it was Christmas after all.

"Five more minutes mum" Sirius mumbled and rolled over onto his side away from Lily.

"I'm not your mum! And get up....NOW!!" She grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled rather forcefully off of the couch where he was sleeping once again and he fell to the floor with a load bang.

"BLOODY HELL! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?"

"It's CHRISTMAS!!" Lily shrilled bouncing on her heels. Sirius looked up at her, rubbing the back of his head. She just looked down at him all happy, cheerful, and bouncy; the perfect image of Christmas. He blinked at her blankly.

"So that means you have to pull me out of bed at this early hour of the day?"

"Yep!" Sirius blinked at her again and she walked off over to the giant tree and sat down, staring at the many wrapped boxes around her.

"Your crazy Lil's."

"I know!" She turned to face him. "And don't call me Lil's."

"Ok, ok. Sorry." He went over to the tree and sat next to her. "So whatcha get?"

"I don't know yet. I was waiting for you to get up so I could open them!"

"Very traditional, aren't you?"

"Is that a problem?" She shoots him a sharp glance.

Sirius holds his hands up and shakes his head. "No. No it's not. I was just saying."

"Whatever." Lily grabs one of the boxes in wrapped in pink paper and shakes it.

Sirius watches her open her gifts for a few moments, before starting on his.

She's beautiful. He says to himself. Truly beautiful.

"Sirius?" Lily breaks his thoughts. "Sirius, what did you get?"  
Only friends. She wants to be only friends. He sighs as they show each other what they received this Christmas morning.

Dinner was the completely wonderful, as it always is on Christmas at Hogwarts. Sirius had never seen, or never noticed, Lily eat so much food in one sitting before. He didn't know how she did it and still be so thin and graceful. Sirius himself, ate hardly anything.

A light, small body sat down next to him and took his hand. "Sirius?" It was Lily's voice. What did she want now? "Are you ok?"

He looked up, smiled at her, then looked down once more at his nearly full plate. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you've eaten hardly anything at all, when normally you eat anything within your reach, you haven't said anything past three words to anybody, and you've been staring at this plate here in front of you for over an hour now."

"I'm just not hungry."

"Oh. Ok." The sound in her voice stung him, and he knew that she didn't believe him, but what else could she do?

"Oooo Lily," Angel, one of Lily's friends exclaimed, coming up behind them." "Is there something going on here?" She moved her hand from Sirius to Lily and back again.

"Haha Angel." Lily gave a small laugh, full of sarcasm. "You would wish wouldn't you? Well he's all open for grabs, so if you want him, take him. I know you've had your eyes on him for sometime now."

Angel's face dropped. "You must be joking Lily."

"Don't worry Angel, I was." Both girls smiled.

"Well anyway Lily, Katie, Sarah, and Isabelle where wondering were you where, so I went to find you." She smiles. "Oh yeah, and Severus was too."

"I'll talk to him later. Where are you guys sitting?"

"At the end of the table, the best pies are always down there."

"Alright, I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Ok, just don't take to much longer." She winks and walks away.

"You should go join your friends." Sirius mumbled, still staring at his uneaten food.

"I will. I just want to make sure your ok. And besides, your my friend too."

"Really?" Sirius looked up into her face, and his heart melted as their eyes met.

"Yes really." Lily smiled softly. "So are you ok?"

He sighed. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Ok." She looked around nervously, then through her arms around him, he closed her into the hug. "Your really are my friend Sirius." She whispered. She stood up and as she broke the close lock, he kissed her cheek.

"Goodbye Lily. Merry Christmas."

"You too." She ran her fingers through her hair, blushing. Then turned and walked down the long table to her friends. Half way there, she stopped turned and waved. "Merry Christmas Sirius!"

"Come on Lily!" Three voices called to her.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!"

And with that she turned and ran to be hugged by her friends, laughing and joking. And as Sirius watched this, he longed to be the one hugging her again.

He sighed and stood up, pushing away his now magically clean plate. He gave one last look over to Lily, who looked up and smiled, then turned and walked out of the Great Hall. He might as well try to sleep if he couldn't eat.

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! Sorry it took me so long to get this up, I'll try my best to update more often. As well as trying to make them longer, one of my many flaws; short chapters.^^ Much thanks to everyone for their wonderful reviews!! Happy Holidays and a happy New Year!! ~Fury


	5. Welcome back! Can you guess my secret?

_"Ok." She looked around nervously, then through her arms around him, he closed her into the hug. "Your really are my friend Sirius." She whispered. She stood up and as she broke the close lock, he kissed her cheek._

"Goodbye Lily. Merry Christmas."

"You too." She ran her fingers through her hair, blushing. Then turned and walked down the long table to her friends. Half way there, she stopped turned and waved. "Merry Christmas Sirius!"

"Come on Lily!" Three voices called to her.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!"

And with that she turned and ran to be hugged by her friends, laughing and joking. And as Sirius watched this, he longed to be the one hugging her again.

He sighed and stood up, pushing away his now magically clean plate. He gave one last look over to Lily, who looked up and smiled, then turned and walked out of the Great Hall. He might as well try to sleep if he couldn't eat.

Lily was awaken by several loud male voices yelling at the top of their lungs in the common room. "SIRIUS!" One voice yelled. "SIRIUS WAKE UP!"

"James, stop yelling so loudly." Another voice responded. "Your going to wake up the whole school."

"Well if Sirius would wake his ass up, then we wouldn't have to worry about that now would we Remus?"

"James?" She heard Sirius's voice raise up from the silence.

"Yes Sirius?"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!?"

Lily jumped out of bed at this, figuring that at this point she wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep, and pulled a pink robe over her white nightdress, ran a comb through her hair, and started off down the stairs.

"Well I wanted for you to wake up..."

"I sorta realized that..." Sirius interrupted.

"Well you asked what I wanted....."

"I MEANT WHY THE BLOODY HELL YOU NEEDED ME AWAKE!?"

"Wow." Lily said from the bottom of the stairs. "Sirius is a nasty little bear when you wake him up. And I thought that was only on Christmas."

All three boys looked at her; her arms crossed in front of her as she stood staring at them. suddenly her serious look broke into a smile.

"LILY!" James yelled and he ran towards her, throwing his hands around her hips and sending them both backwards onto the steps behind her.

"OW!" Lily yelped, pushing James off her. "You sure are yelly today."

"James, that was totally uncalled for." Remus butted in as Sirius took Lily's hand and pulled her to her feet.

"Thank you Sirius." She smiled at him.

"So Lily," James started, completely throwing off Remus's comment. "How was your vacation?"

"Oh, It was pretty uneventful. You know, same old same old." Lily's face showed no expression to lead to what had happened over the winter break, Sirius's face on the other hand had turned a semi-bright shade of pink.

"Sirius, why such a lovely shade of pink?" Remus chuckled.

James looked over as well, and Lily followed suit.

"No reason."

"Then why the sudden color change?" James voice raised in suspicion. He looked at Lily, then Sirius, then Lily, then Remus, then Lily, Remus once more, and then back at Sirius.

Lily took Jame's arm and turned him to face her, batting her eyelashes and gently pressing her body against his. "from what I heard from Leanne, who heard from Jenny, who heard from Laura, who heard from Jane, who heard from Scott, who heard from Luis, who heard from Diana, who heard from John, who heard from Sarah, who heard from Kate, who heard from Bennie, who heard from Milly, who heard from Janette, who heard from Lance, who heard from Grace..."

"Just get to the point!!" Remus snapped.

"...that Sirius had a little fin with a Hufflepuff gir, if you know what I mean."

"What's her name?" James asked excited.

"How to he get her to sleep with him?" Remus responded.

"Why did that take so long to get out?"

"Seriously, how?!"

"Boys stop!" Lily put her hands over her ears until she saw that the boys had shut their mouths. "Thank you. To answer James, I don't know her name. Remus, apparently she was willing. James, I was just telling you what happened. And Remus, I already answered that."

Remus and James seemed to be satisfied with her answers, but James turned on Sirius none-the-less.

"Is that true?"

"Yeah...I guess so..."

"You guess so?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Well I can't really remember...."

"How can you not remember?" James looked like he had been smacked, as well as wanted to smack Sirius.

"Oh," Lily spoke up and all the boys looked at her once more. "Apparently they were both a little drunk." She giggled.

"Wow Sirius..."Remus muttered.

"Way to go! it's about time you saw some action!" James moved away from Lily to give Sirius a rather hard pat on the back.

"Yeah....sure."

"We should celebrate!" James went on. "Firewiskey all around!"

"James, we can't....."

"Oh calm down Lily, no one will know." He waved his wand and about two dozen bottles appeared around the room. "Loosen up a bit Lil's, it's Christmas."

"Don't call me Lil's." But her mutter was barley heard as James flung a bottle into her hand.

"So why are you boys back so early?" Lily asked, rather loudly; she was a bit drunk, though she would never admit it. She was laying on the couch with James...well actually she was laying on James and he was laying on the couch.

"James here just couldn't wait to see you." Remus gestured to the two.

She looked back at James, her hair falling around his head, brushing his cheek. "Is that true?"

"Maybe just a little bit." He twisted a strand of her hair around his finger, she watched him.

"Where's Peter?"

"He wasn't with us over break, so he couldn't have come back with us." Remus answered for James, who now had Lily's finger in his mouth and was nibbling it lightly.

"Ah come on guys, get a room." Sirius pipped up. He was getting a bit flustered seeing all of this. The two had been snogging and flirting the entire night. If they weren't eating each others faces off, they were all touchy feely and Sirius couldn't take much more of it.

James, who had once again been mouth to mouth with Lily, broke this kiss and sat up. he looked at Sirius, then Lily. "Ok." He said looking straight at his best friend.

He took the bottle from Lily and another bottle that was laying on the couch and set them both on the floor. Then he shifted her on his lap, and stood up holding her. He kissed her one more time, said goodnight to the guys, and walked up the stairs with her.

"Oh that's not what I meant!" Sirius yelled after them. He put his head in his hands.

"Something wrong Sirius?" Remus looked at his questioningly.

"No, just tired."

"Well I wouldn't go up there just now if I were you."

"Yeah, trust me, I don't want to go there."

"Probably not a safe thing to do....." He trailed off. Sirius sighed. "Wanna play chess?"

"Sure. I haven't got a good beating in a while." Both boys smiled.

"I'm out of practice, you might have a chance."

"I think it's more 'cause you have a buzz off of all you had to drink tonight. He laughed.

"Oh just for that I'm going to beat you into the dust!"

"Your on werewolf boy!"

"You so gonna wish you didn't say that."

"Is that a threat?"

"Maybe it is." He snarled jokingly.

"Oh I'm so afraid!" His voice full of sarcasm.

"Oh you should be Sirius, you should be."

**A/N : My longest chapter yet!! I hope you all like it!!!! I'll update as soon as I can! ~Fury~**


	6. Exploding potions and really bad tempers

_"I think it's more 'cause you have a buzz off of all you had to drink tonight. He laughed.___

_"Oh just for that I'm going to beat you into the dust!"___

_"Your on werewolf boy!"___

_"You so gonna wish you didn't say that."___

_"Is that a threat?"___

_"Maybe it is." He snarled jokingly.___

_"Oh I'm so afraid!" His voice full of sarcasm.___

_"Oh you should be Sirius, you should be."_

After Sirius was brutally slain in Wizard's Chess, they boys had gone upstairs to bed, expecting to find James and Lily tangled to together in the blankets, only to find that James was fast asleep on his own and Lily has nowhere to be seen. The boys just looked at each other and shrugged.

The next few weeks past by pretty uneventful, there were no more flirting romance scenes between Lily and either Sirius or James. And as far as anyone was aware of, neither boy was having flings with anyone else during this period of time. But their was always room for the occasional flirting with random pretty girls in between classes.

"Hey guys." Lily called, walking towards them after potions.

"Hi Lily." They responded.

All of a sudden Lily stuck her hand up and stroked James's face softly with the back of her hand. _SMACK! _She suddenly pulled it back and hit him in the cheek.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?!" He rubbed his face, pouting.

"That's for being such an ass monkey in class today! I saw what you slipped into Severus's potion." She held up an tube with a bit of green liquid on the bottom. "I don't know what it is, but when it makes things explode," She pulls a piece of neon green goo from her hair and flicks it at him. "It can't be very good."

She took a few steps back and flipped her hair, now facing away from the guys. She turned her head and bit her lip. "I don't want to hear of _any _of you pulling anymore of this stupid pranks. Understand?"

She started to walk off, to join her friends who were waiting for her, pulling the goo off their own hair and clothes. "Oh, I almost forgot. Happy New Year, hope you enjoy the fireworks." And with that she threw the bottle at James; sending it shattering as it hit his chest.

James looked stunned. "What was that for?" He looked at the guys for support, they all looked like they were trying not to laugh, they just shrugged.

"Maybe it was for getting her drunk and trying to seduce her." Sirius spit a bit defensively.

"Hey!" James snapped. "All of that was on her own accord."

"Oh big word for you James."

"What's gotten into you lately Sirius? You've really started standing up for Lil's lately."

"Nothing has gotten into me, I just think you should give it a break. I mean she obviously isn't into you!"

"And how would you know anything about romance Sirius?" James snapped, pushing him back into a wall. "You had one girl, and it lasted a night. I don't think you have any room to talk."

"I might have more if I didn't hang out with you. It's you who turns them off, not me. And seriously, being so into one girl is a little creepy, especially when shes told you no more than 10 times."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means your pathetic." He turned and started to walk down the corridor.

"Not true!" James grabbed the back of his robes and punched him in the face, sending him against the hard stones. "I am not. I could get any girl I wanted to, IF I wanted to. But I don't because I want Lily, and I'm going to have her! She's just playing hard to get."

Sirius shook his head. "You're a moron mate."

James didn't know how to react to that, and in his moment hesitation, Remus pulled him off Sirius. Sirius nodded to Remus, picked up his bag and walked away.

"What was that all about?" Remus demanded from James.

"Why are you asking me? You were there."

"Maybe Sirius is right ya know." He shrugged. "You have been acting really off lately."

"I don't know what that Hell your talking about!"

James ripped Remus's hand off his shoulder and stormed away. When he was about 2 feet away from the others, he turned back.

"Don't ever put your hands on me again." He turned from them once more. "Wolf boy."

And with that he kept walking, leaving poor Peter to try to hold Remus back from ripping Jame's throat out. What had made the boys so hot-headed that day was never quite figured out, but the temper wasn't the only problem it caused.


	7. Not so best friends

_"You're a moron mate."___

_James didn't know how to react to that, and in his moment hesitation, Remus pulled him off Sirius. Sirius nodded to Remus, picked up his bag and walked away.___

_"What was that all about?" Remus demanded from James.___

_"Why are you asking me? You where there."___

_"Maybe Sirius is right ya know." He shrugged. "You have been acting really off lately."___

_"I don't know what that Hell your talking about!"___

_James ripped Remus's hand off his shoulder and stormed away. When he was about 2 feet away from the others, he turned back.___

_"Don't ever put your hands on me again." He turned from them once more. "Wolf boy."___

_And with that he kept walking, leaving poor Peter to try to hold Remus back from ripping Jame's throat out. What had made the boys so hotheaded that day was never quite figured out, but the temper wasn't the only problem it caused._

"Lily, what was that all about?" Her friend Sarah asked timidly.

"It was nothing. I just don't like them messing around with people like that...and especially not when it involves messing up my hair!" Lily tugged a little harder than was necessary on Sarah's hair, which she was pulling back into a long golden braid.

"Oh Lil's." Her hand shot to her head. "Watch out."

"Oh, I'm sorry Sarah!"

"Haha Lil's," Angle piped up. "Don't worry about her, she's just whining again."

"Yeah Sarah, if you didn't keep your hair so long, than Lily wouldn't have to style it constantly." Isabella commented with a smirk.

"Well I happen to like my hair long Issy."

"Ha Izz, you know your just jealous 'cause your hair's not that long."

"Oh be quite Katie!" Isabella crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at the fire.

Lily sighed. "Come on Issy, your being a bit over dramatic today, don't ya think?" She nudged Sarah with her knee. "All done love."

"Thanks!" Sarah went bouncing up the stairs to the dormitory to change out of her green-goo covered robes.

"I'm being over dramatic?!" Isabella stood up, her red shoulder length hair flying around her face. "I wasn't the one who threw a bottle at a person!"

Lily looked shocked. "He deserved it! You even said so yourself!"

"Well he did deserve _something_ but not to have a bottle smashed on his chest!"

"You're ridiculous Isabella! Are you PMSing, 'cause the mood swings are getting a bit out of hand!"

Angle nudged Katie and the two of them quietly slinked up the stairs before they could get dragged into this.

"I'm out of hand?!"

"Yes you are!" Lily screamed back at her friend. "You're flying of the handle over every little thing; you're yelling because I made a fool out of James, which by the way, _you_ strive to do on a nearly daily basis!"

"Oh my God Lily, just leave me alone already! You have no idea what I "strive" to do and you know nothing about me!"

"I know nothing about you?! We've been best friends since the first day of our first year!"

"Well I don't know what we are."

"What are you saying Isabella? Stop beating around the bush and just say it!"

"I don't think we ever where friends _Evans_!" She spat her. "So just leave me alone!"

Lily burst into tears where she stood, as she watched her so-called friend run out of the common room. She thought about running after her, but she couldn't move. Her best friend for like ever had just yelled at her that they were no longer friends and in fact had never been friends. She didn't know what to do, what to think, or even what to say to Angle and Katie. Was Isabella no longer friends with them as well, or was it just her?

She collapsed onto her knees and sobbed into her hands. What was she going to do? She loved Issy, how was she going to go on without her? She loved Angle and Katie just as much, but it just wouldn't be the same without Iss there.

She stood up and tried off her face. "I have to tell them; maybe they'll know how to get her back to us. Katie always has a plan and Angle's so soft spoken…together maybe we can do something to change this." This is what she kept repeating to herself as she trudged slowly up the stairs to find her friends.

Isabella was walking alone down the dark corridors in the dungeons. She was nervous about being down there so late, so was so afraid that somebody was going to find her down there, other than the person she was looking for, and that she was going to get in trouble; but there was no turning back now.

As she continued down the dark passage, she thought she heard voices ahead of her. She pressed back into the wall and tried to shrink into the shadows. She thought to cover up her Gryffindor badge, but everyone knew what house she was in anyway, so it wouldn't make a difference. And besides, the voices were getting closer and she could now see a light peer around the corner.

"I'll take it from her guys." A male's voice said; Isabella recognized it immediately.

"Are you sure Lucius?" A young sounding boys voice asked.

"Yeah 'cause we can walk ya up there if you want." A girls voice finished for the boy.

"No Sasha, I'm fine. You guys go back to your game."

"Ok!" A different female voice answered. "Let's go! They probably continued without us!"

Isabella heard them hurry off and listened as the sounds of their feet and voices retreated. She heard Lucius chuckle.

"You can come out now Issabella." He looked around the corner straight at her.

She stepped out into the light and towards him. "How did you know I was there?"

"I always know."

"Do not." She laughed and pushed him back.

"Ok, maybe not always." He grabbed her arms and lightly pushed them away from him. "It was just a lucky guess."

"Ha I knew it!"

"Did so!"

"Oh stop it Issa." He pushed her back against the wall. "So, did you do it?"

She looked down at her feet and then into his silver eyes. "Yeah I did, just like you asked."

"Very good." He smiled at her. "We couldn't have little Evan's there getting in the way off this now could we?"

"Of course not. She would absolutely flip if she knew."

"But she can't do or say anything if you guys aren't friends."

"Exactly. I think this is the most brilliant plan you've ever come up with."

He smiled and leaned against her, looking straight into her bright blue eyes. "Oh I can think of a few more." And he kissed her hard on the lips.

Remus and Peter walked into the Gryffindor common room to find James glaring at the fire and Angle, Lily, and Katie hard at work at one of the tables on the other side of the room. Remus quickly looked through the remaining people in the room, but Sirius was nowhere to be seen and it was too early for him to have gone to bed.

"Hey James." Remus said, ruffling his hair when they got over to him.

"Hey Rem. Hey Peter." James looked up at Remus. "Sorry about earlier."

"Hey no problem. Tempers were hot, no hurt feelings."

"Ok, good. Hey have either of you seen Sirius?"

"You mean you haven't? We thought he came back here." Peter answered.

"I haven't seen him since potions class."

"Huh, that's weird. I wonder where that boy could be."

At that moment a very wet and raged Sirius walked through the portrait at the entrance of the common room. A few girls laughed and pointed, and Sirius just beamed at them. He came over to the guys and flopped in a chair.

"Hey guys what's up?"

"Looking for you." James answered and the other two nodded.

"Where have you been?" Remus asked.

"We were starting to get worried." Peter added.

Sirius laughed, throwing his head back. "Oh there's no reason to be Peter. I was just at the lake having a swim." He pointed at him self. "But yeah…if you don't mind, I kind of wanna change and go to bed; today has got me exhausted."

He stood up and started to walk up the stairs when Michel walked down past him carrying a plate of toast. Sirius grabbed three pieces.

"Thanks mate." And he went up the stairs into the dormitory.

"Umm…yeah no problem." He looked at his friends and shrugged, they just laughed.

Remus shook his head. "Looks like he let everything fly over his head."

"Good for him." James replied.

"And that's what we should do Jamesie." Peter told him in a sing-song voice.

"Yes we should." He nodded. "And if you _ever_ call me that again, I will throw you in the lake for the giant squid!"

"Oh dear!" Peter squealed."

Remus laughed as James picked up Peter and imitated throwing him into the lake as Peter kicked and yelled for merci. "Looks like everything's back to normal."

Little did they know, the drama was long from over…

**A/N :: I just wanted to say thanks for everyone who's reading this! Thanks for all the support, you guys have really kept the story going! Much Love as always, Fury**


	8. Treaties Over Toast

"Sirius wake your bloody ass up!?!"

"Wha-"

"Get up!!" Suddenly Sirius has shoved out of the bed and fell to the floor with a loud bang.

"What the Hell guys!?!" He rolled to sit up and moaned as he did so.

"Aw did that hurt?" Peter asked.

"Hell yeah it did you fucking mouse! I'm gonna kill you!" Sirius jumped up and corned Peter into a corner behind Remus, who grabbed the back of Sirius's shirt to keep him from strangling Peter.

"Relax Sirius." Remus muttered, as calm as anyone was in the room that had suddenly become quiet except for James's muffled snickers. "It wasn't Peter who pushed you; it was James."

Sirius turned on his heels to face James; his lips pulled back over his teeth. "Should have known." He growled.

"Oh calm yourself Sirius; you're being such a baby this morning. What's gotten into you?" His words were chocked, as he was still having to hold back his laughter.

"Obviously you have never experienced a hang-over James. Though I'm really not surprised. After all, you only can be half as tough as you say you are, or more likely, pretend."

Now it was James's turn to snarl. Remus stepped between the two. "Stop it you guys. This is ridiculous."

"Whatever." Sirius remarked. "I'm going to breakfast."

He pulled his robes on over his jeans and shirt that he had slept in and walked out of the room. The three other boys watched him leave, and as soon as the door closed behind him, James burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, causing him to fall to the floor.

Remus looked at him in disbelief and smacked him on the head. "Cut it out James." He growled at Peter's chuckle.

* * *

"Oh come on Lily, it's not like we're going to be cutting it all off."

"So what? You might as well be."

"Well it could use a cut; it is a bit long." Angle commented.

Lily grabbed at her hair, acting like she was hugging it. "Never!!"

"Haha she was joking Lils." Sarah laughed.

Lily stuck out her tongue and turned away, still hugging her hair. She watched as Sirius came into the Great Hall rubbing his head. He came alone and she wondered where his friends could be. She looked him over; he looked a mess with his wrinkled clothes and dark eyes. His hair was all messed up and he slouched as he walked. When he sat down at the table a little away from where the girls sat, he basically fell asleep. It was truly pathetic.

Lily tore her eyes off of him as Angle started talking again, now to Isabella.

"Don't you think it could use a change Issy?" She asked, still talking about Lily's hair. Isabella just shrugged and made a noise as to say "I could really care less what she does. She can burn in Hell for all I care." Which is what she actually did say when Angle nudged her a few times with her elbow. Lily looked away again.

This time though, she did not look at Sirius. Instead, she followed Isabella's eyes and reached the Slythern table. She continued searching the table until she found what has her friend's undivided attention.

Lucius Malfoy.

Lily turned back to her friend, her mouth wide open. Isabella just looked back at her, Angle and Sarah gave her a questioning look. "What the fuck Iss?!" She finally said. "What's going on?!"

"That's none of your business Lily."

"You like _Lucius_!" She spat, Angle and Sarah now became as surprised as Lily had been. "I'm now making it my business!"

"Well you need to stay out of it. It shouldn't matter to you who I do and do not date."

"You _DATE_ him!"

"Yes Lily." Her voice still calm and her face solid. "I do. What's it to you?"

"I just can't believe it. You've detested him for so many years and now all of a sudden you –" She chocked on the word. "Love him."

"Sometimes opposites attract." She shrugged. "You of all people should know this."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sarah cut in before Lily could answer.

"Oh you mean you haven't figured it out?" She reached across the table and patted Sarah's hand as though she was a confused child. "Our innocent Lily here has a thing for tough ol' Sirius over there." She nodded her head in his direction.

"And where are you getting this little bit of information from?" This time it was Angle's time to comment.

"It's quite obvious." She shrugged again, giving the impression she was bored. "The way she follows him with her eyes, goes stiff when he enters the room, goes limp when he's near. I mean come on, she turns pink!"

"Oh well I guess now that you mention it…."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Even _if_ I did like Sirius, which would you rather, him or Lucius?"

"Sirius." Both girls answered.

Isabella huffed. "You guys just don't know him very well."

"It's not like he makes an effort." Lily murmured. Sarah giggled.

"I can't believe you! Why can't you give him a chance?" Isabella snapped, clearly offended.

Lily held up her hands and Sarah looked taken aback. Angle was concentrating on her cereal.

"We never said we wouldn't Is." Lily started. "All I said was that he wasn't made much of an effort to be friendly towards us before."

Sarah nodded in agreement. "We will try to be friends with him if it makes you happy Issy. Your happiness comes first."

"Just know that if he hurts you in any shape or form, we will not hesitate to kill him in the most painful and slowest way humanly possible." Angle finished.

Isabella was silent for a minute, then slowly, she smiled. "Thanks you guys. That means a lot to me. Oh and Lily," She reached out and took her hand. "I'm sorry for all the mean things I said to you last night. I didn't mean them."

"It's alright." She smiled, squeezing her friends' hand. "Just PMSing?"

"Yeah, something like that."

Sarah interrupted. "While this is a touching moment and all, does anyone know where Katie is?"

The girls laughed and Sarah look utterly lost. "Poor Sarah," Isabella giggled. "Out of the loop again."

"She wasn't feeling very well this morning. She's upstairs sleeping." Lily answered.

"Oh. Ok!" Sarah was her smiling self again.

"Anyways people." Angle started. "About Lily's hair…."

The girls laughed again while Lily groaned, once again, hugging her hair.

**A/N :: Sorry this chapter took so long to get up. I've been suffering from terrible writers block, which hopefully, is gone now. It only took me a month to write this… =P Anyways, hope you like it ^_^**


	9. News

The next week past with not much excitement. The group of girls mostly avoided the boys, who made no move to try to come near them. Sirius would creep up to Lily after class, and then before she even noticed he was there, he ran back off to the others. Her friends were always around her like flies on honey. Time seemed to tick by slowly and the students of Hogwarts were lazing around the school as though it was the peak of summer. Lily was having trouble sleeping, tossing and turning at night, often waking screaming from nightmares she refused to talk about; the Gryffindor girls were a mess.

The past few mornings, Lily had been waking up and rushing to the bathroom. She clamed that she maybe just had the flu, but was nervous and jumpy; as was, she refused to go to the Nurses wing. After one week of this morning procedure, her friends got fed up.

"Lily, will you please go see Madam Promfy?" Angle begged.

"No!"

"Why not?" Sarah asked.

"Are you scared of doctors?" Isabella suggested.

"No! That's not it!" Lily croaked.

"Then what is it?" Katie mumbled.

Lily looked away. "It's probably nothing. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I have to go to the bathroom." The girls nodded.

Lily ran out of the common room, with nothing more than a tank-top and a pair of booty shorts on. Her feet banged against the cold hard marble of the corridor but she didn't seem to notice. She turned the corner sharply and ran into something hard; she fell to the ground with a soft thump.

"Oh my God Lily, are you ok?" A rough male's voice rang through her ears. "I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there!"

A hand came down in front of her face. She knew she was supposed to take it, but she couldn't bring herself to move. The world spun around her and she willed herself not to be sick. The boy moved down next to her and took her head in her face, tipping it upwards. "Lily?" This was too much. All the sounds and colours whirled and bended in her eyes, her throat burned and her ears rang. She leaned over to the side and was sick on the floor.

* * *

Lily woke several hours later to a room she didn't recognize right away. She was tucked in tight with soft blankets; white sheets shielded her view from the outside world. She heard a woman's rushed voice and then, a moment later, a loud sigh from behind the curtains on her right side. She was stiff from lying still for so long and struggled against the blankets iron grip. Suddenly, the blankets gave and she was sent rolling to the floor.

"Ow."

"Lily!" The curtains flew apart with a loud clanging noise and a young boy dropped to her side. "Lily, are you OK?"

"Oh?" She looked up to see you had spoken. "Sirius! Umm yeah I'm fine." She flushed pink with embarrassment.

"What in the world is going on?" Madam Promfy came around the corner and saw the two sitting on the floor; her bottom lip stuck out in disapproval. Lily's blush darkened.

"She fell out of bed." Sirius explained.

"Did she just wake up?"

"I believe so."

Madame Promfy took the few steps over to them and Sirius got up and moved out of the way. She picked Lily up like she was a feather pillow and laid her back in the bed.

"I'm sorry." Lily mumbled.

"Don't worry about it daring." She turned to Sirius. "Do you mind stepping outside for a few minutes?"

He looked anxiously at Lily then nodded. "Of course." A moment later, Lily heard the door open then shut a few seconds after. She knew he was just outside the door.

"Um dear there's something you should know." Madam Promfy started. Lily snapped her head towards her, unaware that she had been staring after him.

"Yes?" She questioned.

She opened her mouth then paused. Her face tensed as she thought about what she was about to say. She opened and shut her mouth a couple more times; her eyes curiously worried. Lily had never seen her so stressed. She took Lily's hand in hers and took a death breath. She opened her mouth once more, this time to speak.

"Well…er, you're pregnant."

**A/N :: I am sooooo sorry that this took so long to get up!! I've had a lot of things going on in my life right and haven't had a lot of free time to write this. Add writers block and we have a dose of Hell. I hope that I will be able to keep up with this better from now on. Give all things to the Tuna Fish Sandwich which got me to write again, I have no idea how a sandwich helped, but somehow it did. Thanks for everyone who is reading this, I love you all!! Well I'll get to writing chapter 10 and updates for my other stories now before someone starts a riot. *looks around scared* haha just kidding. Later!! –Forever_Lost –**


	10. Why Me?

_Madame Promfy took the few steps over to them and Sirius got up and moved out of the way. She picked Lily up like she was a feather pillow and laid her back in the bed._

"I'm sorry." Lily mumbled.

"Don't worry about it daring." She turned to Sirius. "Do you mind stepping outside for a few minutes?"

He looked anxiously at Lily then nodded. "Of course." A moment later, Lily heard the door open then shut a few seconds after. She knew he was just outside the door.

"Um dear there's something you should know." Madam Promfy started. Lily snapped her head towards her, unaware that she had been staring after him.

"Yes?" She questioned.

She opened her mouth then paused. Her face tensed as she thought about what she was about to say. She opened and shut her mouth a couple more times; her eyes curiously worried. Lily had never seen her so stressed. She took Lily's hand in hers and took a death breath. She opened her mouth once more, this time to speak.

"Well…er, you're pregnant."

Lily stared; Not at anything in particular, but it would seem that her eyes here burning into the door that Sirius had just walked out of. A thousand thoughts ran threw her head at the same time, creating a mass collision. She didn't know what to ask. She smiled crookedly; maybe this was just one of those sick jokes the boys liked to pull on her.

"Are you sure?" She asked Madam Promfy, her voice rising to hysterics.

"Yes dear." Her lips were drawn thin and her eyes looked worried.

"Does…" She gestured towards the door. "Does he know?"

Madam Promfy looked where Lily had pointed out. "No. I thought you may like to tell him. If he is indeed the father; he certainly has a fancy for you though."

"My parents?"

"I sent them an owl."

"Oh God." Lily pulled her knees to her chest and banged her forehead against them. After a moment she took a deep breath and looked up. "Can I leave now?"

"Yes dear. But if you feel sick at all come back here, alright?" Her voice hinted at her hesitation to let her leave.

"OK. I'll do that." She rolled out of bed and looked around for her shoes for a moment before she remembered that she hadn't been wearing any. She quickly walked to the door and out without a second glance. Shutting the door sharply, and seeing that Sirius was no longer standing there, she then took off down the coredoor; wanting to be as far away from the bearer of bad news as possible.

Tears flooded her eyes as she followed the cold, stone floor to wherever it willed to take her. Her heart raced, but not so much because of the running as because of the panic that was quickly settling into every inch of her body and mind. This couldn't be happening. She found a pretty secluded area and slipped to the ground behind a suit of armor.

"This can't honestly be happening." She whispered to the chilled air. "Why me? My parents are going to KILL me!" A loud thud echoed through the quiet passage as she hit her fists against the ground. "Thank God no ones around to seem me like this; they'd never let me live it down. How am I going to hid it? Are they going to kick me out of school?" She was siglent for a moment, taking everything in. "Wait...Why is no one around? What time is it anyway?"

A picture on the other side of the hall gave her the answer. "It's half past 9." It mumbled.

Lily looked around the suit of armor to look at the painting. "Are you sure?"

"Most defiantly."

Lily stood quickly; her movements jagged and flustered. "Oh shit! I'm going to be locked out!" She looked up and down the cordoor trying to find the quickest possible way to get back to the Griffindor commonroom. She eventually chose left and took off running.

"Watch your language young lady!"

"Sorry!" Lily yelled back, honestly not caring.

She made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady just over 5 minutes later. After falling a couple times, and running into a few walls, she was quite bruised. She grumbled the password under her breath, clearly unamused.

The Pink Lady chuckled. "Apparently being pregnant doesn't make you anymore aware of where you are going."

Lily stared at her; her eyes wide with horror. "H-how do you know that?"

"Word spreads quickly between the portraits my dear." She winked and swung open. Lily stared into the commonroom for a moment. _I can do this._ She told herself and took a deep breath, crawling through the entrance.

**I am sooo sorry this took forever! And that it's so short! I know it doesn't explain a whole lot, and I'm sorry! I will try to make the next chapter better. I swear! Please tell me what you think and come back soon to check for updates. I should have one soon. :) Thanks to everyone who has and is currently reading this. I greatly appreciate it. 3  
Much Love, Forever-Lost**


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